Trembling with fear

I have lived in our house for just about seven years now. The only source of heat we have ever had is our wood stove. So you can imagine after that many years of fires, I am pretty good at building a good fire. In fact, I am so good at it I can have a roaring fire built in minutes. I am the one who builds the fires daily and on rare occasions hubby will build a fire.

I have been so confident and cocky about my fire building skills that I have teased hubby and told him that I build a better fire than he does. We both definitely have different techniques. Honestly, my fire is just a tiny bit better than his. He does build a good fire it just takes him longer.

Do you know where my biggest problem is? Kindling! I am so afraid to cut up kindling with the ax. For the most part I refuse to do it. I have even been know to forage through the yard to try and find small pieces of wood that may be suitable for building a fire. Hubby usually has kindling for me but there are occasions where he forgets. Today was one of them.

I know that foraging will not work due to recent rains. In the past I have tried to start a fire without kindling but it took 45 minutes and so much paper that I just couldn't do that again. So trembling with fear, I picked up our small ax and tried to cut some kindling all on my own. Can you believe with each swipe of the ax my heart is absolutely racing! I don't know what is worse, my racing heart or my trembling hands?

I managed to cut just enough to start my fire. Thank goodness! I know many woman do this chore themselves such as my mom and step mom, as well as some of my local friends, but I just can't seem to get comfortable doing it. Perhaps by the time I am fifty I will! In the meantime I will hope that someday we can afford to have central heat and air or we will both agree on a new place to move!