Our new bedtime routine nights 4,5,6

Things are going quite well with our new routine. This will probably be the last time I talk about it. I am still shocked at how well it is going. My wise friend has told me on multiple occasions that you can change anything you want about parenting whenever you are ready to change it. You just have to make the commitment to doing it. She is so right and I always thing of this advice.

Night 4 had KK crying just two times for just two short minutes. Her crying was mostly because I would interact with her on a conversational level. She wanted me to look at the glow in the dark stars with her and talk about what we were going to do tomorrow. I stuck to the rules though and didn't respond. I knew I had to do this otherwise our bedtime routine every night would take an hour due to her wanting to talk and avoid going to sleep.

On night 5 the manipulation really began and it was apparent that I had a whole new problem to deal with. KK didn't want to go to sleep and I had made the mistake of letting her have a 45 minute nap. No more naps here I will tell you that. It took me over an hour to get her to sleep and she didn't fall asleep until 10 p.m. During the whole hour she tried everything she could think of to get out of bed. She tried asking to go to the bathroom multiple times, getting out of her bed to get a stuffed animal, asking for water, asking for a different stuffed animal from another room, etc....I only let her go to the bathroom once and I didn't get anything for her that she requested other than the water.

Night 6 still brought some forms of manipulation. However she didn't cry and she didn't keep asking to go to the bathroom. I am sure over the next week she will continue trying to get out of bed etc. but I will stay firm. I am already happier with our new routine and I look forward to a month ahead when I can leave the room while they fall asleep on their own.

The third night of our bedtime routine

After having the second night go so well I was anxious to see how the third night would be. There was only one problem in our plan. We went to the movies to see Space Chimps and didn't get home until 8:30. The girls were wound up so I knew I couldn't start the bedtime routine right away. I waited until 9:00 to begin. Things didn't start out too well as both girls wanted only me to read to them. We got KK to read with Daddy and then Aly decided she was jealous and wanted Daddy to read to her. So we compromised and Daddy read a story to Aly and one to KK and I read one to each of them as well. Once this drama was over Daddy was kicked out so that I could start my new routine. Lights out and the music on.

The girls were still a bit hyper and protested having to go to bed. KK said she wanted me to sleep with her and I reminded her that she was a big girl now and would be putting herself to sleep. I put the music on and sat in my chair with the lights off. KK squirmed about for awhile. She then ask me to look at the stars. I didn't respond. She was very angry that I wasn't willing to have a conversation with her so she began to throw a fit and cry. The fit lasted all of two minutes. She came out of bed, I placed her back in. She was quiet for a few minutes and then tried to talk to me about the stars again. When I didn't respond she threw another little two minute fit.

She calmed down again and then said she had to go to the bathroom. Once she finished she ran into her room and said, "o.k. Mommy I am going to go in my bed and go to sleep all by myself!" That is exactly what she did. I never hear a peep from her again and she was asleep in five minutes.

This is really working for us and I am so glad! I plan on spending at least the next week in the room sitting on the chair. One step at a time. After that I will transition them to me not being in the room at all.

The second night of our bedtime routine

I fully expected tonight to be a night filled with protest and possibly twenty minutes of crying during our new bedtime routine. I was well prepared for it, even though I was a bit tired. I gave the girls extra cuddling during the day so they would feel like they still get that affection that they crave.

As soon as lights were out magic happened! I put the cd on and tucked both girls into bed. I think KK said one time that she didn't want to sleep by herself but that was the end of that. I never heard a word about it again. As a matter of fact she didn't even CRY! Can you believe it? We went from the first night of screaming for 26 minutes to the second night of nothing! I was in complete and total shock! Was it really going to be this easy??? One night of pain for this! I would definitely say it was well worth it! I would do it again in a heart beat and only wish I had done it sooner.

Hopefully tonight will go just as well. If not I don't mind. Just seeing that I can have a night like I did last night is enough to give me hope. You know what else was amazing? Both girls slept in their beds all night and never got up once! Woohoo!

The first night of our bedtime routine

I prepared the girls for our new routine multiple times during the day talking up that they are big girls and would be putting themselves to sleep. I also had a special talk with Aly and let her know that KK would probably cry for a very long time and since they share a room perhaps Aly could put her hands over her ears or put her head under the covers.

Aly did great just as I knew she would. I am so surprised at how well she handled listening to KK scream. KK ended up screaming and crying for 26 min. and 16 seconds. I know this because she stopped crying when the cd came to the song "When You Wish Upon a Star." So I went back and added up the minutes of the other songs and that is how long it took me to get KK to fall asleep on her own.

I did the normal bedtime routine and tucked them in. I told them that tonight they would be snuggling a special stuffed animal instead of Mommy or Daddy and they each chose two. Once the lights were out KK asked me to sleep with her. I told her she was a big girl now and would be sleepy by herself. The first time she got out of bed I put her back in and told her that she was a big girl now and would be putting herself to sleep. From then on every time she got out of bed I put her back in without talking to her. I must have put her back at least 20-30 times before she starting crying, "Mommy I want to be a good girl now!" That totally broke my heart and when she said that I had to break the rules that one time and reassure her that she was a good girl and that Mommy loves her. I told her she is a big girl now and will be putting herself to sleep every night. After that I put her back in bed as I gave her a hug. She got out of bed probably 15-20 more times and I put her back in without saying anything to her.

Finally 26 minutes into it she fell asleep. My mission on night one had been accomplished. I will say it was hard, it did hurt my heart, but I knew I had to be consistent and stick with it. The most important thing I could do was not cave in. So tonight I will do the same process over again and hope that the amount of screaming will be less. Wish me luck. I will keep you posted!

A new bedtime routine

Wow, I can't believe I am writing this post and I can't believe I am actually taking the plunge to change what is no longer working for us in our bedtime routine. For some background information we co-bedded with both of our girls until just over a year ago. We made that transition by laying with them until they fell asleep and bringing them back to their own beds every time they woke up.

So for the past year we have been laying with them while they fall asleep and lately it has not been working for us at all. Why you may ask? For many reasons, first it requires two of us to put the girls to sleep, second it is taking way too long. We start the bedtime routine around 8:30 and by the time it is lights out it can take over an hour for them to fall asleep! Mostly it is KK staying awake so long and it is such a pain too because she is constantly lying on your right side, then your left side, then on top of you, then squishing down the covers between your legs. It is down right frustrating!!!!

For the past month or so I have really been wanting to make this change but haven't been quite sure how to go about it. I did know that recently my friend Cathy whom also co-bedded and had a similar situation was able to put the hard work and dedication into getting both of her girls to put themselves to sleep at night. So I knew who the perfect person to ask for advice would be. Here is what she suggested:

Prepare them ahead of time for the transition and let them know they are big girls now and that tonight they will be laying by themselves and putting themselves to sleep. Talk it up and make it a positive experience!

Make a CD with sleepy time songs. (I spent all day doing this and I targeting specific songs from Disney that are on many of their lullaby cd's. I played the CD in the playroom a few times today and told them that will be there new bedtime music)

Once the bedtime routine is complete give them kisses, tuck them in and sit in a chair with the lights off in the middle of the room. The first time they get out of bed put them back into bed and tell them they are big girls now and they will be putting themselves to sleep! After the first time each time they get out of bed simply put them back in, tuck them in and don't say anything. Keep doing this all night until they fall asleep on their own.

I have to admit I am scared, nervous, and dreading this whole process. I know Aly will do just fine. She is 5 years old and has had many periods of time where she has put herself to sleep. I am scared to death of how KK will react because she is young and I am not sure she will quite understand what is going on. I know this will be extremely hard for her and it will hurt my heart to see her so sad and so confused. I also anticipate that the second I put her in bed she will keep getting out and grab onto me so tight that I will have to pry her off.

I wish that this process will take me by surprise and be as easy as giving up the pacifier was or as easy as giving up breast feeding was. I was so scared of both of those processes and it did go much more smoothly than I thought. I think this time will be different though.

Wish me luck! I promise to report tomorrow on how tough the process was for all of us!